Clean dating jokes one liners

I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it? Boobs are just proof that men can focus on two things at once. Just once I'd like to read a medicine bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness" Some day when scientists discover the center of the universe, many people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn't them. If only God can judge us, then Santa has some explaining to do. He's an Italian plumber, created by Japanese people, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican. Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of credit card payments. In about 20 years, the hardest thing our kids will have to do is find a username that isn't taken. Why do medications never have any good side effects? I wish you would eat some makeup so that you’re pretty on the inside too! I farted in the Apple store and everyone yelled at me. Virginity is like a soap bubble, one prick and it is gone. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been hailed in a survey as the funniest gag ever. Have you heard the one about the guy in the wheelchair? A first date gives you only an imperfect snapshot of who a person really is.

At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted? Two years later he is once again interrupted by a knocking. The angry father walks back to the little one, stomps on him, and screams "Catch up" A horse walks into a bar. " A few more from Rodney: I asked my bar tender, "Can you make me a zombie? Out of frustration he throws it across the street into the dessert. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off? Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams. I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes. Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?

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