Graduate student dating professor
And because many advisers think that stress, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed (all potential signs of something more serious) are a normal part of grad school, they are often reluctant to suggest students seek help. It might be a joke, but it’s one that reveals certain heteronormative gender expectations. I simply did not hear this piece of advice directed at me as a woman.Better advice: If you are feeling depressed or overwhelmed, contact your university’s counseling center. Instead, I received somewhat different advice from women who’d been to grad school: Only date someone in grad school if you think you will be in a long-term relationship with them.Since I—especially as a nineteen-year-old—never turned down an offer for sake on a school night, I happily accepted the invitation and went to his room the next night.There, it was a study break typical of many of the ones I had attended in my own entryway, except everyone was a senior and boozed up.I grabbed some sushi and a cup, mingling for a bit.The RA joined me on his couch to chat, while constantly, constantly refilling my cup.Since I won’t ever have a tenure-track job, I feel it’s my moral obligation to put some giant, flashing warning signs around the bad advice that perfectly well-meaning people might offer to graduate students. Depression is normal among doctoral students, so you should just tough it out/exercise more/throw yourself into your work/do some yoga. Shine notes that her advisers discouraged medical leave, but that’s only one way that grad school can take a toll on students.Sadly, depression is common in grad school—or at least it’s common enough to be a fairly large concern. It can be a socially isolating experience, made worse by the financial strain of low pay, loan payments looming in the future, and the fear of never getting a tenure-track job.
This, unfortunately, is the scenario that confronts us today. My own success would have been perfect had I elected in the last few years to sue my fiance, a professor at the university where I am completing a doctorate, for our relationship.We became friends because we both were forced to take lunch at due to afternoon classes and shared vaguely similar academic interests.He eventually friended me on Facebook, which I thought was a little strange, but brushed off because I assumed he was gay due to his plethora of vibrant, floral shirts and the gulf of a decade that separated us in age. Are they two consenting adults in love, or is it sexual harassment and exploitation?A more stringent regulation, which would have banned romance between all professors and undergraduates, was voted down.